Next is a story that I really connected with, as a person who snagged the “love of my life” to be my husband. That’s him up there. All of that language is so weird. She writes about living with doubt… Do you remember a story that hit the internet hard a few months back… a story about how, if you found a person willing to sit down with you and explore 36 questions (answering them all honestly), then you two would definitely fall in love? and then people started doing it left and right, and it was sometimes true? Love connections were made? A whole new generation of “marrieds” was borne of this experiment, all in love? Well, this idea began with a single essay from one woman in the NYT modern love column, and since then, her love has gone on. More things have transpired. More was learned. Maybe things all of us marrieds might have already known, but she said it so beautifully and did such a good job of encompassing so many of our fears and thoughts and patterns into her story….
I’m supposed to be writing an essay about what it means if you spend years thinking about the dangers of love stories and then your own love story becomes a matter of international interest. This is an interesting topic! This is an essay I’d like to read! But what I’m actually writing is an essay about doubt. Sorry if you thought that other thing sounded interesting. Someone else may have to write it, because the question I keep coming back to, in writing and in love, is this: how do you live with doubt?
What she is writing is beautiful to me. Jacinda and I have been writing this blog for 7 years, and we usually keep to your basic how-to kind of stuff, because talking into the ether about your personal life is scary. And it seems there is often not a lot of space for doubt or uncertainty. I feel like I should “know” something for certain before I can share it. But I don’t really “know” anything beyond how to sew a french seam or fry up some donuts. Do you want to hear that I love my husband more than life itself? Or would you understand if I said I chose him, and he chose me, and we had an awesome kid, but neither of us believe we are a pinterest dream of perfection? When you found out I was adopted, did you want me to love my “adoptive” parents and my “birth” parents equally, and win so many new parents in the process?
I didn’t think so. I think all of our prudent mamas have loved us how we are for however long we have been that way. But I haven’t known how to talk about any of this deeper stuff that goes on and on and on. Once Prudent Advice was finished, I sort of clammed up. So I loved that this woman talked about doubt. About how love and doubt are so intertwined. Fear and love and pain and joy and everything. Read more about her story here: How Do You Live With Doubt?
On another note, I like to paint my nails. I used to always go to nail salons to get my nails done, and only recently stopped doing that in an effort to save money. I decided I could no longer afford to put “manicures” into the “required” category being that I work from home and all. So, in LA, many of my local nail salons are run and staffed by Vietnamese women. When I got back from Vietnam we talked about how beautiful the country is. It was fun to connect about their amazing home, but I never really understood why so many of my LA nail salons were staffed predominantly by Vietnamese women. Now I understand why and the story is fascinating! Read it here: The Fascinating Story Behind Why So Many Nail Technicians Are Vietnamese.
Of course, after reading the New York Times expose on the almost slave-labor and human trafficking happening in nail salons, I am horrified and curious if the same applies here in Los Angeles. Read it here: The Price of Nice Nails.
As a mother of a daughter, I am always looking for amazing women to point her towards… just as people she should educate herself about. Are you familiar with Rosalind Franklin? She was an English chemist and X-ray crystallographer who contributed to the discovery of the structure of DNA! I wont’ say anything more about her, because it’s just aggravating to see how her contributions were belittled. It makes me angry like the scenes with Joan made me angry on mad men this week. Go forth and create your own syllabus for your daughters. I will be back next week to add more ladies worth learning about. #prudentadvice and all. Image Source