How to Knit a Merkin: Free Pattern!

how to make a diy merkin

Though spring is on its way, it’s still quite cold and snowy in many parts of the country. Do you ever feel a little too chilly down there? If so, we have just the tute for you: A DIY Merkin tutorial! Not sure what a “merkin” even is? Dictionary.com gives this definition: merkin (ˈmɜːkɪn) — n an artificial hairpiece for the pudendum; a pubic wig.

How to Knit a Merkin

We know you can’t wait to get out your knitting needles and your fun fur yarn (even comes in shades of gray!) to follow our tutorial! Find our pattern for a DIY merkin after the jump…

APRIL FOOLS!

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43 Comments

Ajaire

Oh my god I laughed so hard. I cannot believe one was actually made and worn – even if only for an awesome photo. The wine glass was a nice touch. Hahahaha

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Lesley

It’s not tasteless if you have a sense of humor! LOVE THIS JAIME!!!! great april fools!

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Macki West

Fortunately, it does come tasteless. I imagine you could add flavors to it for more fun or even a scent. How about some candy scent? Or vanilla, men love vanilla. I would just steer clear of anything fishy.

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Cricket

O! M! G! I am trying to catch my breath… Stomach cramps from laughing so hard!

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Fripouille

It’s so funny! I’m almost sad it’s only an April fools… Maybe it will be like fake moustach the thing to own in a few years…

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Lesley

I really LOVE this and as Jacinta said, who was the lovely model for this? was it your SIL? Steeve? haha. Love the wine glass too!
XOXOX

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Jaime

i swore i would never reveal the model’s identity, but i will see it is not myself, jacinda, or stevee. or colleen. but you do know her 😉

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Macki West

I laughed so hard when I saw this that my mom who is visiting came running to see and she laughed so hard that my husband had to come check in out and his laughter got the kids attention. Hilarious and fun for the whole family!

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Crystal

lol nice! I need to make this, putting all my other to do’s aside and starting on this right now 😉

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Elizabeth

A merkin?! A merkin is just funny. As is. And then a knitted merkin on a crafting site?! It’s just too much. HA.

Prudent does not equal prude!

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Brandi K

My DH looked at the picture and said “Why? Why would you do that?” Then he saw it was an AF joke and laughed until he cried.

Well played ladies, well played!

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Carol

I am seriously considering hosting a merkin party. this should be required knitting for all beginning knitters. My favorite AF joke to date. <3

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Dorothee-Maria Lotufo

This is absolutely hilarious and a fantastic joke.
First I was really veeery confused, wondering what happened that you would post something like that;
But then it made “click”, and since then I can’t stop grinning because of your awesome work.
Thanks! ;]

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Nancy

Now I know what to do with my fun fur yarn scraps!
Need to “share” in a “private”(“uh-hem”)message. LMAO!!

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Meredith

We Canadians NEED the Merkin! Our April Fools’ Joke was another dumping of snow! I give you all a standing O for being so brave (specifically the model!)

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vee

there is only one person i know who is brave enough to model a merkin… am i right?

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Fran Graham

That is THE funniest thing I have EVER read/seen. Period. Anyone who finds this offensive clearly has not been given a humour bone. 😉

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Jerowen

Absolutely hilarious! I even knew what a merkin was before I clicked on the link. I was thinking, “no way!” I had to explain to the hubs that back in the day dancers used to wear them because they weren’t allowed to be completely nude. He just kept saying, “That big?!”

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Mamamell

I don’t know where this link has been posted, but it was sent to me by my hubs who normally trolls hot rod auction sites and 4×4 message boards! Great 4/1 joke. Hysterical! I’m sure I could find a pattern on ravelry if anyone is interested.

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Claudia

Hahahaha! This is marvelous! Love your joke and all the comments and had sooooo much fun reading. Greetings from Germany!

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tom

i need to replicated this look for a holiday party. how did you attach the merkin to the pantyhose ?

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TereC.

OMG! this is the funniest thing EVER!!! I would make a “beardo” with matching yarn to go with it lol 😉

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Ruffled Bath Tissue: A Tutorial - crafterhours

[…] Rolled tissue makes this a quick and easy project. Much like ruffling streamers or creating gathers in fabric, you’ll use a straight stitch and set your tension as high as it will go and lengthen your stitch length. On my machine that’s a 9 for tension and somewhere between a 4-5 for stitch length. Place your tissue under the presser foot and let it go! Always fun to watch ruffles almost make themselves. I like to create a variety of lengths for a variety of uses. I’d say anywhere between ten and twenty squares in a length is good– the thicker your tissue the fewer squares required. And now your guests have another little luxury to enjoy! It’s something they won’t forget. For more fresh ideas from crafterhours’ years past, you might enjoy this. And for fresh ideas from other crafty bloggers this year, you might enjoy this, this, this, this, and this. […]

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